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Who Chopped That Cherry Tree
Legend has it that George Washington, America's first president, chopped down a cherry tree in his youth. His father saw the damaged tree and asked his son if he knew who did it. George was quoted bravely admitting the truth:
'I can't tell a lie, Pa; you know I can't tell a lie. I cut it with my axe.'
Below is a satire of how some Malaysian politicians circa 2008 may have reacted to the same question:
Abdullah Ahmad Badawi - 'I did not chop down that cherry tree; I was just taking a nap under it.'
Najib Razak - 'I swear that I have never MET that tree.'
Hishamuddin Hussein Onn- '...but I only own a keris ,not an axe; so how to chop down that cherry tree?'
Dr Mahathir Mohamd - 'Apa nama cherry tree, yes, I chopped it down because, I don't like the idea of Pak Lah sleeping under it.'
VK Lingam - 'It could be me, it may be me but I don't think it's me.'
Anwar Ibrahim - 'I did NOT do it, and I am not giving any DNA sample for you to plant on the axe handle.'
Mohd Khir Toyo - 'The new state government should just trim the grass and not waste time asking who cut the tree.'
Ahmad Said (Terengganu MB) - 'I chopped it down because cherry trees are more expensive to maintain than durian trees.'
Azalina Othman - 'Cherry tree is not included in my tourism MOU so I chopped it down. Besides, there are so many unauthorised signboards being put up by Ah Long around that damn tree.'
Shabery Cheek - 'Not me. I challenge you to an open debate on tree cutting.'
S Samy Velu - 'I chopped it down because Hindraf members were using it as a meeting point.
Wira Ali Rustam - 'We have planted durian trees for 50 years and we will plant them for another 50 years. We do not need cheery trees, apple trees , pear trees and all these other foreign trees.'
Rais Yatim - 'You must see the bigger picture, Ahmad Said said cherry trees are expensive to maintain; Ali Rustam said that's against our national identity and, I needed to test my new axe; so you see, it is a WIN-WIN situation all around.'
Sharir Samad - 'I cut the tree because we could no longer afford to subsidise it.'
Karpal Singh - 'The bigfoot creature did it.'
Bung Mokhtar - 'The big monkey did it.'
Pandikar Amin Mulia (Speaker) - 'There is nothing in the standing orders against chopping cherry trees. Kinabatangan duduk, Bukit Gelugor duduk.
Khairy Jamaluddin - 'I did not do it, neither did the Mat Rempits. By the way, what's a cherry tree?'
Lim Kit Siang - 'Cherry tree also you don't know; you are an insult to Oxford!'
Nazri Abdul Aziz - 'Racist, racist, racist! When we cut down durian trees nobody made a fuss. Now...'
Malaysian Citizens - 'Oh for heaven's sake! Somebody please plant something before we all starve to death!'